Missing you...

"Daddy, why are you always at school? Why do I always miss you?" My heart crushed when I heard Edward asking you these questions this morning.

When the kids and I got home tonight, I started preparing dinner. I swear, I almost cried when I couldn't open the spaghetti sauce jar. Why did I decide to cook spaghetti tonight? How did I forget that you always opened jars and bottles for me? Miraculously, I got it opened...

At dinner, we talked about how much we missed you.

Edward: I miss sitting on Daddy's tummy. (Smiling mischievously as he remembered horsing around with you)

Alison: I miss him reading "Love You Forever."

So I told them why it was important for you to go back to school: so you can have a better job, and we can buy a house, and we can take them to more trips and vacations like Disneyland...

They got all excited and started naming things that they would buy with "Daddy's money." I tried to make them see the positive side of this transition...

But then I looked at the empty dining chair in front of me, and the jar burn on my hand that I had ignored seemed to start stinging...

And so did my crushed heart...